Aria (1987)

What do you get when you take ten different film directors and ask them to come up with ten different takes on famous opera pieces? Depending on the critic you ask, you either get something pretentious and awful or a mixed bag of good and bad ideas. Either way, you get Aria (1987), and a few times you get some nudity! Aria is a film made up of ten short pieces with ten different directors, including Ken Russell, Jean-Luc Godard, Robert Altman, Bruce Beresford, and Nicolas Roeg. The film stars Bridget Fonda, Elizabeth Hurley, John Hurt, and Theresa Russell. Each of the ten pieces uses a different aria as the soundtrack and the film is an interpretation of that song. Some of the highlights include Robert Altman's recreation of the 1734 opening night performance of Jean Philippe Rameau's "Abaris ou les Boreades" which is chock full of weird imagery, Franc Roddam's tale of a nonstop sex adventure between Bridget Fonda and James Mathers which was inspired by "Tristan and Isolde," and Nicolas Roeg's decision to cast his wife Theresa Russell as a man in an interpretation of King Rog of Albania's 1931 assassination. Okay, we're starting to see why this one wasn't exactly a box office sensation. What would've packed the rafters with viewers in opera glasses would've been if the people marketing the movie explained how hot the men in it were. Oh yes, there are a few scenes in Aria that'll have you touching your naughty area, until the fat lady sings! The perfect piece of British machismo Peter Birch shows some skin at 49 minutes while performing "Die tote Stadt." Peter shows off his prefect pecs while shirtless in bed with the erotic Elizabeth Hurley. At an hour and 6 minutes in, the juicy James Mathers gets stripped and sexy while banging the bodacious Bridget Fonda. We get a great look at that perky patoot and even a glimpse of this sexy stud’s schlong! Two minutes later we get an even better look at James’ perfect package while he is nude in the tub with Bridget. Bet that scene had all the old British ladies reaching for their vibrettos! The men of Aria look so good with their clothes off it will make you sing!