Baywatch (2017)

Talk about not quite striking while the iron is hot! Baywatch (2017) finally came to the big screen a solid decade and a half after its cultural relevance peaked but stacked its cast with enough hotties that nobody seemed to mind. Taking over for David Hasselhoff as Lieutenant Mitch Buchannon is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Mitch is the leader of Florida's most elite lifeguard unit and is not too happy that Olympic swimmer Matt Brody (Zac Efron) has joined the unit but refuses to take it seriously. A drunken party boy who brought shame to the nation by getting hungover and puking in the pool, Matt expects to spend all day chatting up chicks, catching some rays, and occasionally blowing his whistle at some kids so they'll stop splashing. But soon enough he realizes these lifeguards are part detectives, part Navy SEALS, and part narcotics officers as they find themselves caught in the middle of a beachside conspiracy involving the ultra-powerful businesswoman Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra). Full of all sorts of metahumor, allusions to the show, and of course, slow motion jogging to highlight bouncing bigums on ladies like Alexandra Daddario, Baywatch was a whole lot of fun. But while it was more well known among the horny straight dude crowd, Baywatch was a great gaywatch, too. And this one keeps that tradition going! The best news about this flick is that it's only got male nudity in it, making it the first incarnation of the Baywatch brand to focus more on the men. And that's no surprise with both The Rock and Zefron spending most of the film's running time in little to no clothing! Those abs? Those pecs? Now those are some beach bodies! Mr. Man would love to have either of those Baywatch bros as his beach bae! Even though he was way past his prime, we even see Hasselhoff take it off when he's crushing some brewskis shirtless at the beach. We could definitely still get hard for that DILFy lifeguard! 44 minutes in, we also get a nice look at Jon Bass' ass as he stands naked in front of Kelly Rohrbach. The joke is supposed to be that he's not in great shape, but that heart shaped heinie looks good to us! Twenty minutes later we see Oscar Nunez's (unfortunately) prosthetic dick as he plays a corpse who washes up on the beach! These Bay boys give us plenty to Watch!