Carnal Knowledge (1971)

If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, imagine the damage a little Carnal Knowledge (1971) can do. This critically-acclaimed film by Mike Nichols begins as Amherst College roommates Jonathan (Jack Nicholson) and Sandy (Art Garfunkel) describe their ideal woman — without having the self-awareness to realize they are far from ideal men. While shy Sandy idolizes ladies, confident Jonathan objectifies them. Yet neither of these guys are able to maintain a relationship with the fairer sex for the rest of their lives. Years after college, Sandy ends his marriage to pretty Susan (Candice Bergen) even though she’s pretty perfect. He and his new gal Cindy (Cynthia O’Neal) go on a double-date with Jonathan and Bobbie (Ann-Margret) wherein Jon suggests he and Sandy switch partners. Kinky! After bedding and wedding Bobbie, Jonathan tires of her. He also secretly hooks up with Susan behind Sandy’s back. With a personality like that, it’s no surprise Jonathan finds himself alone. The middle-aged man, who couldn’t find satisfaction with the most wonderful women, must now pay a prostitute (Rita Moreno) to get him off. Speaking of, you may jack off while watching Jack and Art tout their shirtless physiques in various scenes. Of course, Mr. Nicholson takes things a step further by accidentally flashing his balls when he sits in a chair while only wearing a bath towel 53 minutes in. As he crosses and uncrosses his legs, his sack sneaks out for all to see. Maybe the makers of Basic Instinct (1992) were taking notes!