The Canyons (2013)

Gossip columns spilled a lot of ink about Lindsay Lohan's antics on the set of The Canyons (2013). but Mr. Man knows the real hot gossip: there's a whole lot of pocket rocket in Paul Schrader's erotic thriller. Starring both the iconic firecrotch and boy-next-door porn star James Deen, the Bret Easton Ellis helmed flick is all about Lin-Lo's character Tara, who is dating the rich boy Christian (James Deen) but sleeping with an actor named Ryan (Noah Funk). Christian was going to put Ryan in the new movie he's financing, but all that infidelity makes that highly unlikely. Luckily, Ryan's girlfriend Gina (Amanda Brooks) is willing to do anything, and we mean anything, to make sure Christian keeps Ryan in his movie. Sex, lies, intrigue, this one has it all including dick and balls! Yes, to get in this movie all the men were apparently willing to show their man meat, since there's a ton of full frontal. Hung like a, well, porn star, James' mouthwatering meat stick makes an appearance as he prepares for a threesome with his girlfriend and another couple. Live fast, due hung! That thing is Giant (1956). Thomas Trussell joins in on doing the hustle, which gives us a quick glimpse of his cock when he strolls around the house naked and we get a look at his long one from behind. He's got a great can, too! Glad we saw it in The Canyons! Then there's blonde babe Noah Gerald Funk, who shows off his perfect pecs and the junk in his trunks posing for beefcake photos. We wish he'd take us to Funkytown! And let's not forget Chris Zeischegg (aka Danny Wylde), who pulls his impressive peter watching Deen lick Lohan's lower lips. We were licking our lips seeing that, too! We could watch those fellas yodel in The Canyons all day!