Book of Blood (2009)

Book of Blood (2009) will go down in history as gifting the world a glimpse of Jonah Armstrong’s peen. Some people say that there are other elements to this horror movie, such as the plot, but first let’s talk about Jonah and his sperm whale. Mr. Armstrong is an Irish actor with piercing blue eyes, a youthful face, cut body, and a plump round butt. In the television series Hit & Miss the stud shows off his Irish potatoes in one of the sexiest scenes to hit the small screen. If you want to see his blood sausage, however, you’ll have to check out his staring role in Book of Blood, where Johan’s johnson dangles after he undresses in front of a woman. The shot is brief, but oh, so, sweet.

Now, the other stuff. Book of Blood is based on a series of stories by Hellraiser (1987) and Candyman (1992) creator, Clive Barker. The plot revolves around a house that serves as the supernatural portal through which souls are transported to the afterlife. Simon (Jonah Armstrong) is cursed with having stories from the Book of Blood cut through his skin (gross) and ends up serving as useful to a paranormal professor (Sophie Ward) interested in exploring the haunted house. The movie has been well received by fans of the famed Mr. Barker, and very well received by fans of beautiful Irish dongs.