Cloud Atlas (2012)

Hugh Grant is unrecognizable in feathers and war paint, Halle Berry and Susan Sarandon play both male and female roles and, most bizarre of all, Tom Hanks attempts a Cockney accent in Cloud Atlas (2012)! This ambitious, sprawling sci-fi mind-bender was directed by both Wachowski siblings as well as Run Lola Run (1998) director Tom Tykwer, with a screenplay based on the notoriously "unfilmable" 2004 David Mitchell novel of the same name. Is that too many cooks in the kitchen? Maybe, since this one ended up being a box office bomb that left critics sharply divided on whether it was brilliant or atrocious. Fans mostly watched Cloud Atlas and shrugged. Either way, it certainly wasn't the easiest plot to follow. See, Cloud Atlas uses six interwoven story lines ranging from a 19th century Pacific voyage to post-apocalyptic Hawaii to explore themes of love, hate, fate, reincarnation and the interconnectedness of existence. Basically, there are six time periods and locations: 1849 Chatham Islands, 1936 England, 1973 San Francisco, 2012 London, 2144 South Korea, and 2321 Hawaii. In 1849 we see a lawyer (Jim Sturgess) saving a Native man (David Gyasi) from slavery before an evil doctor (Tom Hanks) can kill him. In England, it's a young composer (Ben Whishaw) beefing with an older, more famous one (Jim Broadbent) over the credit for a composition the youngster wrote with the geezer's help. San Fran sees that old composer's former gay lover (James D'Arcy) working as a nuclear scientist who is about to put big oil out of business unless the hitman Bill Smoke (Hugo Weaving) can kill him first. In London, a publisher (Jim Broadbent) is being bullied by the brother (Hugh Grant) of a psycho murderer (Tom Hanks) who killed a critic who didn't appreciate his autobiography about life as a criminal. In futuristic South Korea, Sonmi (Doona Bae) is a sex robot who leads a revolution alongside Hae-Joo (Jim Sturgess) after another robot named Yoona (Zhou Xun) introduces her to the concept. And last but not least, in post-apocalyptic Hawaii, Zachry (Tom Hanks) is a tribe leader who meets an advanced being named Meronym (Halle Berry) who teaches him all sorts of stuff before helping him fight off the cannibal tribe led by the Kona Chief (Hugh Grant). So many A-listers. So many plotlines. So many opportunities for skin. And yet, all we get is Robin Morrissey somehow managing to block his cock with a sheet after a sex session, and a bit of bum from Ben Whishaw as he puts his pants on after some action from a shirtless James D'Arcy. Those Cloud Atlas hotties will have you on cloud nine!