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Outlander

Outlander (2014-2023)

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Review

Yeah, yeah, grandfather paradox, changing the past will alter the future in unknowable ways, blah blah blah, we know. But when push comes to love, do you really think fears about the butterfly effect will keep you from doing it with a stoic, mannered and manly man of the past with calloused hands and a tight butt? Of course not. If you haven't figured that out yet, you definitely will after watching Starz's time travel romance Outlander. Based on Diana Gabaldon's series of novels, which were themselves inspired by a Doctor Who episode, since 2014 viewers have followed the saga of Claire Randall (Caitriona Belfe) (it's pronounced "Katrina"), a combat nurse in 1945 Scotland who touches some magic rocks and is suddenly sent back in time to 1743. England is in the middle of a war with Scotland, and with her advanced medical knowledge Claire quickly makes herself an indispensable part of the Scottish War effort. She has a husband (Tobias Menzies) back in 1945, but quickly falls in love with the handsome, brave and super-hot Scot Jamie Fraser (Sam Heughan) who she is eventually forced to marry. Claire's being torn between her love for Jamie and her desire to go back home make up most of the drama in this one, which eventually branched out to include run-ins with other people from the future, trips to Antebellum America, and constant attempts to use her knowledge of the future to protect those past-people she comes to love. If actual Scottish warriors from the 1700's were this attractive, we'd demand to touch those magic rocks to get them to play with our cocks! Gary Lewis shows off his distinguished ass while getting a massage, and there are plenty of opportunities to see the gorgeous Sam Heughan naked, mostly while he's railing his time traveler wife, but also during the much-publicized gay sex scene with a full-frontal Tobias Menzies. Mr. Man just got a case of the Menzies watching it! One look at it and we knew Richard Rankin had an ass for spankin, but if you're more of a gentle touch and feeler there's the rump of Ed Speelers we see thrusting into a large and in charge hooker. Baby got back, back in the day! Thanks to all those awesome 18th Century sex machines, Outlander will have you whipping it out!