Eastern Promises (2007)

When it comes to the movie industry’s best naked combat scenes, the three that come to Mr. Man’s mind are: Oliver Reed and Alan Bates wrestling in the raw in Women in Love (1969); skinny-dipper Jennifer Lawrence going full-frontal to fight beach bums in No Hard Feelings (2023); and Viggo Mortensen showing off his killer moves (and every inch of his tattooed bod) in Eastern Promises (2007). The latter flick is one of several collaborations between the sexy star and daring director David Cronenberg, along with A History of Violence (2005), A Dangerous Method (2011), and Crimes of the Future (2022). This skinternational thriller follows Anna “Anya” Ivanovna Khitrova (Naomi Watts), a Russian-British midwife who realizes things aren’t quite right with her most recent client. Although the infant survives, the Russian teen mother (Sarah-Jeanne Labrosse) dies during delivery. When Anya reads the young woman’s diary in an attempt to determine who should have custody of the newborn baby, she finds names that lead her straight to a sex-trafficking ring. As such, she runs into Russian gangster Semyon (Armin Mueller-Stahl) and his henchman Nikolai Luzhin (Mortensen). The R-rated pic also includes Vincent Cassel, Sinéad Cusack, Josef Altin, Raza Jaffrey, and Viggo’s fabulous flesh! The skintastic actor leaves nothing up to the imagination when two Chechen assassins (Tamer Hassan and David Papava) attack him in a bathhouse. Indeed, we view his nude chest, rump, balls and cock as the three exchange blows. Oh, how we would like to exchange some different blows with Viggo!