Goltzius and the Pelican Company (2012)

The biographical drama Goltzius and the Pelican Company (2012) is an avant-garde flick based on the life of Hendrik Goltzius (Ramsey Nasr), a late16th century Dutch painter/printer/engraver who had a knack for creating smutty compositions. Sounds like Mr. Man’s type of guy! Hendrik had this grand artistic ambition to create an erotic version of the Old Testament. There’s plenty of source material to pull from: Lot banging his daughters; Joseph being seduced by Potiphar’s Wife; David and Bathsheba adulterous adventures, etc. But like most artists, the porn purveyor didn’t have the cash to fund his work, so he attempts to persuade the liberal-minded Margrave of Alsace (F. Murray Abrahman) to give him the cash he needs to pay for a printing press. Margrave is very intrigued but he’s not totally convinced, so Hendrik and his titular printing company—Quadfrey (Lars Eidinger), Thomas (Giulio Berruti); Samuel van Gouda (Pippo Delbono); Adaela (Kate Moran); Eduard (Flavio Parenti); Susannah (Anne Louise Hassing)—take to the stage to perform six biblical tales, each of which highlights a different sexual taboo. Sounds like a show Mr. Man would buy tickets to! Lars Eidinger puts on a show by brandish his erect rod in a ribbon-tying ceremony scene. We also get a look at Lars’ flaccid fellow in two scenes. Not to be outdone, Giulio Berruti adds a dash of wang in a darkly lit moment. Pelican Company? More like a Peacock Company!