Varsity Blues (1999)

Football is more than a game. It is a form of war where most combatants survive intact. It can be a ticket to college and can pave the road to riches. It is training for the bigger battles of life at large, forming and testing a boy’s character in preparation for manhood. But most important of all, football prowess is an excellent tool in scoring off the field. The MTV-produced Varsity Blues (1999) is an iconic concoction of all the tried-and-true elements of the high-school sports film. The setting is a small town in Texas called West Canaan, where high school football is everything. The coach is Bud Kilmer, (Jon Voight) a raging megalomaniac who has lost sight of the sport’s true value, but who wins enough state titles that he's become a bit of a local legend. The backup quarterback Jonathan "Mox" Moxon (James Van Der Beek), an Ivy League bound book lover who doesn't care much about football, despite being quite talented at it. He plans on riding the bench and letting big time recruit Lance Harbor (Paul Walker) lead the team to victory, before he heads off to college. But when Lance goes down, Mox is precipitously thrust into the starting role. And while he finds he quite likes being QB1, what he really enjoys is all the off the field fun being the starter gives him. One of the cool things about football is that all body types can find their place on the field, from short and stocky running backs to long and lead wide receivers, and even big, beefy lineman. To that end, we've got all sorts of unique West Canaan Coyote bods that'll have you howling! Paul Walker teases us with a side view of his QB1 buns while plowing Ali Larter on top of a washing machine. We'd love to do some mating with that teammate! If you like your fellas large and in charge, Ron Lester goes shirtless at a strip club when he decides he'd like to dance with the girls. But Scott Caan is the MVP of the flick, taunting us with two scenes of his hunky halfback. Whether he's standing around naked and letting us see his ass as he gets stopped by a cop, or doing some mooning, that wide receiver has an incredible tight end! We'd put it into that slot receiver's slot if he'd let us! A skin filled pigskin flick, Varsity Blues will have you touching down there!