Grow for the Gold with These Nude Manlympians!

Sweden

The Skarsgård dy-nasty takes center stage any time you talk about the men of Sweden. Alexander Skarsgård and Bill Skarsgård followed in their famous father’s footsteps by showcasing their amazing cocks on screen. But they have some competition in Joel Kinnaman, whose stunning body and great nudity dominated season one of Altered Carbon. Who’s in the mood for Swedish meatballs?

Spain

As with the Irish, you can pretty much do no wrong when it comes to Spanish men. With so many options, this was a particularly difficult country to judge for the Manlympics. But with Antonio Banderas’ long, thick penis and manly bush, Javier Bardem’s iconic full frontal shot, and Daniel Brühl’s delish dick, we think we did okay. What can we say? We like a Spainy cock.

Scotland

No Scottish actor could beat Ewan McGregor for gold, no matter how hard James McAvoy and Sam Heughan tried. Ewan has sixteen nude roles, many of which include gratuitous glances at his giant gland and gonads. And don’t get us started on his gay scenes in Halston and Velvet Goldmine. Just don’t, okay? Ewan makes us want to lay some bagpipe!

New Zealand

Kiwis are part of a balanced nudity diet, and if you don’t believe us, you haven’t seen Manu Bennett’s gratitutious nude scenes on the porny Spartacus. Bronze winner K.J. Apa is a Mr. Man mainstay, but sadly doesn’t have the nude scenes to best Antony Starr, who showed off his ageless ass in The Boys. We’ve always wanted to take a trip to Nude Zealand!

Netherlands

When I think about you, I Dutch myself! Dutch babe Marwan Kenzari dared to bare his penis, while Rutger Hauer teased us with a ball slip. However both men - real talk - pale in comparison to Michiel Huisman. Here’s what he brings to the table: A sexy face, flawless 6’ 1” bod, and a thigh-slapper of a cock that he isn’t afraid to show on screen. Yay, Michiel wins the Netherlands!

Mexico

Our sisters to the South don’t mess around with it comes to nudity. Beautiful men with dark, dreamy features is the name of the game when it comes to Mexico. Just take our gold and silver medal winners, Gael García Bernal and Diego Luna in Y tu mamá también. They take their friendship to the next level by locking lips for a super passionate gay make out! Hint hint Diego Boneta. Gay scene, please.

Italy

Between the food and the men, Italy is full of things you’ll want to put in your mouth. What! Too much? The real Italian Stallion Michele Morrone made headlines with his porny straight sex scenes and shower penis slip in 365 Days. But he’s bested by Italian dreamboats Rocco Siffredi and Antonio Sabato Jr. thanks to their jaw-dropping dudity. Who wants a pizza that ass?

Ireland

Ah, the Irish. No country produces as reliably-hung men as Ireland, and these three celebs are living proof. This is another country that features three gold medal-worthy actors, but sadly, everyone plays second fiddle when it comes to Colin Farrell. His puppy dog eyes, jet black locks, and ripped and hairy body are perfectly complimented by his enormous penis. But don’t sleep on big-dicked actors Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Aidan Gillen. Sleep with them. Irish these men were mine!

Great Britain

We have a secret. We’re smitten with Britain! That was lame. But these boys aren’t. Manlympics winners from across The Pond include almost-Bond Idris Elba, who sadly hasn’t delivered the best nudity, but did grace us with his ass in 100 Streets. Daniel Craig let us see his daddy 007 inches (and amazing balls) during a bath scene, and legendary Mr. Man actor Tom Hardy let his uncut goodness hang out in Bronson. Which bloke makes you stroke?

Germany

If you think that all Germans are tall, blonde, and hung, then think again! Michael Fassbender has red hair. With their handsome faces, dreamy bods, and hung cocks, both Matthias Schweighöfer and Max Riemelt could easily have nabbed the gold if repping another country. But sadly they have to consent with Michael Fassbender, and no one - and we do mean no one - can beat his meat. Although... we’d like to try.

France

If any country is synonymous with amazing nudity, it’s France. These men don’t give a flying franc when it comes to showing their penises! Christophe Paou lent his penis and balls to one of the most sexually explicit gay movies ever filmed. While stunner Louis Garrel has bared his cock in a dozen nude scenes. But Gérard Depardieu has them both beat with his erect penis in The Last Woman. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Denmark

We had no doubts that the home of Hans Christian MANdersen would bring the hotness. Hairy daddy Claes Bang slipped us his wang while gorgeous Game of Thrones actors Nikolaj Coster-Waldau wasn’t afraid to get gay - and show his penis - Bent. Gold medal winner Mads Mikkelsen has everyone beat, however, with his sexy body and full frontal nudity. These boys are GodDane hot!

Canada

The Canadias on our list will have you busting a Canuck! A-lister Ryan Reynolds delivered amazing nudity throughout his career, but who could forget his accidental butthole and penis slip in Buying the Cow? Heartthrob Ryan Gosling bares his buns in Blue Valentine, while Taylor Kitsch’s thrusting ass cheeks steal the show in Savages. Our neighbors to the north will have you singing O-face Canada!

Australia

G’day ‘bate! It’s no secret that Australia is home to some of the most gorgeous men on the planet. Hugh Jackman has a legendary nude history, showing off his ageless ass in a number of blockbuster Marvel movies. Chris Hemsworth outdid his little brother Liam by baring his perfect muscular ass in Rush, while bronze winner Murray Bartlett delivered a shockingly realistic gay sex scene in Tales of the City. Talk about exploring the bush!