A House in the Hills (1993)

The specifics don't really seem to matter much—whether it's housesitting, babysitting, or trespassing, spending time in a very empty abode in the middle of nowhere never seems to end well for the protagonist. A House in the Hills (1993) is no different, and this time, we find ourselves juggling criminals. When a young, struggling actress housesits for a couple who decided to skip town for awhile after the neighbors were murdered. (Fair.) To get in the acting zone, she pretends to be the owner of the house, continuing the charade when a mysterious "termite exterminator" (Michael Madsen) shows up unexpectedly. (Not as fair.) It turns out he's a thief and holds her hostage, but they naturally fall in love because Stockholm Syndrome? Bulging biceps? We don't know, but it's a thing. When the neighborers murderer turns up, too, they have to face him together. 

And while this is unequivocally confusing, you can take solace in Madsen's magnificent body, which is soaking wet and shirtless during a greenhouse sex scene and a butt-baring glimpse in the shower. Watch out—this thief will have you peeling right out of your pants.