Steffen Cox. Long John. Pornfighter Long John. Michael Zühlke. So many names, so many videos. As you may have guessed, Michael is an adult film star, and what you may not have guessed is that he’s a Germanadult film star. He entered the porn scene in 2002, appearing in only seven films that year. Only seven? Yes, that only is correct, given that in 2016 he made 45 videos, and so many more in the years before and after. He did appear in one mainstream flick, the quirky Feuchtgebiete (2013), aka Wetlands, although in a very un-mainstream scene: he ejaculated onto a spinach pizza (the spinach part seems important) along with three other wankers (and Mr. Man is not using British slang in this instance). And yes, you do get to see a close-up of Michael’s little head as he grasps it in his fist. But back to the X-rated stuff, because that’s where the fun is. Mr. Man does love to play the porn title game, albeit it will be a little more difficult having to translate from German. But here it goes, some of Michael’s most skintillating projects, based on title alone. Ready? Anal Disco Teenies (2002) (Hey! This one doesn’t even need a translation!); Sperma-Spiele (2005), or Sperm Games (sperma = sperm; good to know); Berliner Lust, numbers one through ten (five in 2005, the rest in following years) (because Mr. Man wants you to know Michael is consistent and loyal); Kleine Spermaschlecker(2006), or Little Sperm Lickers (that one was a surprise of a translation); Achtung! Volle Kanne Sperma(2016), aka Danger! Full Pot of Sperm (they use sperm a lot in their titles; Mr. Man is not just calling them out); Francesca: Alle Löcher gestopft (2017), or Francesca: All Holes Plugged (who knew holes would have an umlaut?); and Ja, wire schlucken! (2020), aka Yes, We Swallow! Seems like a good place to stop.
