All right, look. We all know the internet is ablaze with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's divorce, and the speculations are numerous: Does he have substance abuse issues? Is he having an affair with costar Marion Cotillard? Is he having a midlife crisis?
Who knows? In a world where tabloids have printed enough Jennifer Aniston pregnancy rumors that she could have started her own preschool by now, it's unclear what is actually going on in Brangelina's 14-year-old tenure.
However - for the sake of said speculation, let'stalk about 'Allied,' the movie Brad recently wrapped with Marion and the reason for all this hullaballoo. Obviously, he's no stranger to meeting significant others on movie sets, but this is the first time he's been accused of an affair since Mr. and Mrs. Smith, when he was actually having one. The eerie thing about that is how similar Alliedand Mr. and Mrs. Smithare.
The plot for Allied: Two assassins fall in love with each other and get married after a mission.
The plot for Mr. and Mrs. Smith: Two assassins fall in love with each other and get married after a mission.
Come ON.
Apparently nothing seduces Brad quite like badass, mysterious women (and really, who can blame him?) who play elusive assassins that either want to kill him or have sex with him or both. Whether or not this rumor is true, I have one piece of advice for Brad's relationship status and general wellbeing: Maybe lay off the assassin movies, bro.
Alas, no one here is sad that he's back on the market. I don't know how to use a machine gun, but I make one killer grilled cheese sandwich.
