Are you tired of the traditional holiday movies? I'm sure you've watched all of the family-friendly stuff already and you've ventured into the late-night naughty Christmas comedies, but even those feel rote after a while. How many times can you really watch Christmas Vacation? Hell, even Die Hard gets boring after the 50th watch. If you find yourself in that boat, then join me on this journey as I suggest the "holiday" movies that will get your holly jollies off.
These aren't your family's Christmas movie. These movies are unconventional Christmas movies. What makes them Christmas-y? These films take place during Christmas time, but they have little to do with the holiday and the holiday doesn't influence the plot that much. But it's still Christmas!
Check out the ho ho hoes in these unconventional Christmas movies.
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This 1999 film has all of the markings of its era. The cool, hip film features interwoven storylines that all take place on Christmas, but it's far from a Christmas movie. The plots involve drug trafficking, titty bars, secret gay relationships, swingers, and more. We are also treated to the asses of some of the film's finest stars.
Watch William Fichtner show his balls and buns in this sexy scene where he also hits on Jay Mohr. Hey, he was barking up the right tree, but Jay just wasn't interested.
01:13:29 William gives us an extended look at his backside and body. With the help of your pause button, you can catch a glimpse of William's balls. Good times! (1 min)
Reindeer Games
Prison on Christmas? No, thank you. That's what Ben Affleck's criminal character thinks when he breaks out of jail and performs one last heist for the holidays. He keeps shouting about wanting to eat pumpkin pie, but he stops for a different kind of pie break during his sex scene with Charlize Theron. That's when we get gifted Ben's buttocks. It's a very happy holiday!
Black Christmas
This 1974 slasher film is a Christmas classic...if you like horror movies that take place around Christmas and show us the darker side of the holiday. David Clement gives us a killer nude scene when he goes pants-less in the police department and bends over to give us a look at what's inside his chimney. I'd love to stuff his stocking!
Lethal Weapon
Is Lethal Weapon a Christmas movie? Does it include dudity? Then, sure, why not! The timeline takes us to December 25th, so this is the best excuse to check out the buns on the boys. I'd say that those heroes are lethal weapons!
Krampus: The Reckoning
The Krampus movies are plentiful and scary. They are also pretty campy. The Krampus legend is meant to be a counterpart to Santa in which a half-goat demon wreaks havoc on those who are bad while Santa helps those who are good. Leave it to German Christmas! James Ray gives us a ray of Christmas joy when he shows his hairy booty.
Here's a fun fact: you can see the cock sock on actor Benjamin Foronda during this scene where he is mounting a lucky lady. The penis pouch is visible in a rare moment that lets us all see what's going on behind the curtain.
