Our Staff Picks column is a new addition that takes you back to a time when video stores reigned supreme and the "Staff Picks" section was the place to find out what films were worthy of one's time. Of course, our version has a decidedly nude angle, as we suss out which films from a certain genre with great nudity. This week: creature features!
I will admittedly be expanding the definition of "creature feature" here to include monsters - which some people don't think counts. I do! You're telling me a werewolf isn't a creature? Miss me with that. Instead, focus on these hot men. The men in these movies are beautiful creatures:
The Fly
David Cronenberg's The Fly is actually a remake, but he is the one that everyone remembers best. It is probably better than the original! Jeff Goldblum plays a doctor who is toying with methods of teleportation. When he experiments with his device, a fly accidentally gets into the pod with him, and their DNA mixes together for a horrific mix. The sexy doctor slowly becomes a fly.
We see his ass during a sex scene and the beautiful Goldblum does become increasingly difficult to look at as he turns into a fly. It's what Cronenberg is famous for: disgusting body horror! At least we get to check out the outline of Jeff's cock in his undies when he is fully human.
The Shape of Water
A lot of creature features are campy, playing in the legacy of the weird 1950s creature films that came before them. The Shape of Water plays off of those films, paying homage when it is able but is not a campy flick. Guillermo del Toro directed this film about a mute woman who is a janitor at a science facility where she comes across a fish man. Literally! He's a man and a fish. He is kind of hot, but we are here to praise Michael Shannon's booty. Yes, he's the bad guy in the film...but I love a bad boy!
Starman
You might consider this to be more of an alien film, but I once again have to point out that an alien IS a creature. This film has a little more because an alien assumes the form of a woman's dead husband so that the alien can learn more about human life. His presence complicates things for the woman who lost her husband!
It's no wonder that an alien would choose this human body: it's Jeff Bridges' body and he is beautiful and bootyful.
The Untamed
What's a creature feature without tentacles? And what's a hot movie without gay scenes and tentacle sex? It's The Untamed, honey! This Mexican film from 2016 is wild. An alien lands on earth and wreaks havoc on the lives of many people such as a couple, half of whom has sex with the tentacled alien. That's the woman, but the man is having a secret gay affair!
Jesus Meza and Eden Villavicencio have a hot scene together that gives ass and cock. We even see a cock get firm and prepare to penetrate! The scenes in The Untamed cannot be tamed.
Cat People
Cat People, again?! Well, yes. I would be remiss to do an entire creature feature Staff Picks and NOT include one of the bests. I very recently suggested Cat People for another Staff Picks, so you probably already know that this film has it all: wild plot, big cats, and a naked Malcolm McDowell. Malcolm McDowell transforms into a wild cat at night and feeds on his prey on the streets of New Orleans. We catch up with him when he wakes back up in his human form, butt ass naked.
An American Werewolf in London
John Landis' American Werewolf in London stars the sexy David Naughton as a tourist in England who gets bitten one night. The American learns that the mysterious attack was from a werewolf and it is turning him into a werewolf. Oh no!
Something I love about these kinds of movies - if it weren't already obvious - is that creature features tend to involve a transformation that leads to nudity. It just makes sense to me and I live for it. He is cock out in three separate, sexy scenes including this one:
