The sexy and hilariously tributed soccer star has added yet another statue to his collection. This one is marginally better, which gives me mixed feels.

He looks less like he was just put through a Picasso Instagram filter, which is an improvement. And there's not a visible massive bulge - though I never, ever see that as a plus.

The amazing thing about all this is that three statues have been dedicated to Cristiano - not one, not two, but three separate statues in entirely different locations. If you wanted to feel unproductive today, there you go.

One day I hope to travel to this statue, where I can see the football-sized outline of Cristiano's package.