April 15th can't come fast enough! That's when the new epic The Northman will hit theaters. We already knew that this sure-to-be-blockbuster starred some of our favorite actors like Alexander Skarsgard, Claes Bang, and Willem Dafoe, but we did not know about the naked sword fighting on a volcano!
The movie's writer and director Robert Eggers opened up to Total Film Magazine about his insipration for The Northman:
When I first thought, ‘I want to make a Viking movie,’ I knew three things. I knew it needs to take place mostly in Iceland, it needs to have a revenge story, and it needs to have a naked sword fight on a volcano…
Yes, yes, and so much yes. This is the same director that brought us The Lighthouse. For those not familiar, The Lighthouse features a lengthy masturbation scene starring none other than Robert Pattinson! He feverishly masturbates to a crude mermaid figurine, and while we don't see his cock, we do get our best look at his ass yet.
Now, who exactly will be naked sword fighting on a volcano in The Northman is still a mystery. Of course we're willing a Skarsgard, Bang, and Dafoe showdown. No swords needed. All of these actors have shown off their penises on screen before. There's nothing manlier than going tip to tip to tip on a volcano. We hope you're reading this Robert Eggers! It's never too late for an X-rated reshoot.
