This week on Netflix is a mashup of relative sci-fi normalcy andporn stars having sex with Lindsay Lohan! That's right, it's a week just made for bypassing happy hour with your coworkers and instead committing yourself to a dark room, your couch, and that Spiderman Snuggie you'll never admit you own. It's OKall the patio bars have closed up because Winter Is Coming anyway.
The Canyons
First up isThe Canyons, a movie with Lindsay Lohan plus porn stars James Deen and Chris Zeischegg (aka, Danny Wylde). Though the ratings were abysmal, this is, in fact, a delightful combination of people, all of which are willing to take off all their clothing for the sake of erotic drama.
James Deenplaystrust fund kid/deranged sociopath Christian, whose girlfriend, Lindsay Lohan, is most definitelycheatingon him.Thomas Trussellis credited as Young Hot Guy, which is accurate enough, whileChris Zeischegg(aka Danny Wydle) makes a cameo to watch James Deen eat out Lindsay Lohan, which is a sentence I never thought I'd write.
According to Jezebel, The Canyons Is a Five Hour Slow-Motion Reel of White Dudes Jacking Off, but unlike Rotten Tomatoes, we don't have a problem with this at all. In fact, we're pretty damn excited about it.
Dark Matter
Then there'sDark Matter, a show devoid of both porn stars and bare penises but full of hunky, bulge-baring men.
Marc BendavidandRoger R. Crossplay One and Six, respectively, two astronauts who wake up in space with their memories wiped totally clean and no idea of who they are. They struggle to figure their shit out, and we struggle to look away from their itty bitty Pod Pants. Overall, it's a fun experience.
