Damsel (2018)

Women in Westerns tend to occupy the same secondary roles. They work in brothels, they get kidnapped by rampaging Indians, they beg men not to fight, they're the lonely widow taking in drifters to satisfy her needs, and of course, they're the damsel in distress. Damsel (2018) saw that track record of women tied to train tracks and said no more! Robert Pattinson is Samuel, a super soft city slicker turned wannabe cowboy headed West to try and track down his lost gal, Penelope (Mia Wasikowska). He met her back East and has bought a horse he plans to give to her as a wedding present when she inevitably falls for him once he rescues her from a kidnapper. He even wrote a song about her! It's not good, though. But since he's not the toughest, smartest, or most cunning cowboy in the West, he doesn't realize she hasn't been kidnapped at all. After a few missteps, it's up to Penelope to save Samuel instead of the other way around. Damn, the dude in Damsel completely misread that situation. At least he's damn sexy! Maybe she'll fall in love with this damsel dude, and they'll live happily ever after. Mr. Man loves to turn a cowboy into a cowman, so he was a bit disappointed we never saw R-Patz's pecker. But that's not to say this one is skin free. There's no question as to whether Gabe Casdorph is using a prosthetic penis or not in the only sexy scene from Damsel. Still, it's kind of hot seeing him pee from his prosthetic penis after getting shot in the back by a shaky preacher. His wang stays outside of his pants as his dead body lies on the ground. The body is still warm, so we can say the dick is still hot! This movie really takes the piss out of cowboys! There might not be a woman in distress, but thanks to that scene Damsel will make you undress!