Socks. Or sock, meaning just one. That’s all that will be running through your brain every time you see Evan Hall, once you’ve seen him in season five, episode four of Orange Is the New Black in 2017. You see, Evan does a striptease for the ladies, getting all the way down to what you think is nothing, cupping his private manly parts so you can’t see anything. But then he lifts up his palms to show off a very lucky sock covering his penis. The man twirls that sock and gyrates and makes everyone (including Mr. Man) very, very happy. Evan was in OINB from 2016-2017, playing correction officer Stratman, and once the uniform was gone, it was lovely indeed to see a toned and muscular bod underneath all the dark hair. The actor has also been a little more serious, keeping his pants on as Shep Marster in the National Geographic series Mars in 2018, and as Private Morehead in The Code in 2019. He’s done pop-ups in series like The Mysteries of Laura, The Following, Elementary, Jessica Jones, The Blacklist, and Blue Bloods. Evan has also shared his cutie self in the movies, as Rory Johnson in Rebel in the Rye (2017) with Nicholas Hoult and as the character Jake in The Drummer (2020) with Danny Glover. And, ripped from the headlines, he portrays Brian Laundrie in the Lifetime movie The Gabby Petito Story (2022). Intriguing, although in all honesty, Mr. Man prefers ripping pants from Evan’s hot bod. And socks.
