Teen Lust (2014)

All teen sex comedies have dudes trying to get laid like their lives depend on it, but what if they actually did? No, we're not talking about It Follows (2014), we're talking about the far funnier comedy about needing to do it to not die, Teen Lust (2014). Neil (Jesse Carere), like many other teenagers raised in a religious household, has been trying to remain abstinent because his church wanted him to for an important ceremony. Unlike most other religion households, though, Neil's parents belonged to a Satanic cult, and they needed him to remain a virgin so they could sacrifice him and prevent 1,000 years of peace on Earth. When Neil (Jesse Carere) and his best friend Matt (Daryl Sebara, the guy from Spy Kids (2001)) find out, they set out on an emergency mission to get him laid before morning—all while his parents and their cult hunt him down. From trying to hook up with drunk party girls, to a disastrous run-in with a hooker who is a secret cult member, to a wild scene where Matt offers up his booty to save his friend's life even though neither are sure if that would count, Matt and Neil's quest for a lifesaving cherry popping is a wild one! In an effort to prevent his best friend's imminent death, Daryl Sebara volunteers himself, pulling down his pants and offering up his bares ass for deflowering. Now that's a true friend! They're both in jail, so it wouldn't even be weird, right? Plus, Daryl's dressed like a priest and Jesse's in a diaper, so there's all sorts of weird stuff going on. It's a crazy scene, but Sebara baring his ass at least answers the question all the viewers were wondering. When that doesn't go as planned, Jesse Carere strips off his shirt in an effort to get laid by anyone—literally. Talk about a movie that should be a cult assic! If you're into horror comedies that'll still make you bust, Teen Lust is a must!