Patriot (2015-2018)

Amazon's Patriot was one of the stranger TV shows to hit the streaming world in quite some time. Debuting in 2015 and lasting two seasons, it's a spy thriller about John Tavner (Michael Dorman), a dude who works outside the law committing all sorts of atrocities for the government. All that awfulness has messed him up in the head, so he sings weird folk songs under a fake name to try and clear his head. He's always assassinating people in the Middle East, then coming back to his lovely wife (Kathleen Munroe). She thinks he works for a Milwaukee piping company and has no idea he secretly works for his dad (Terry O'Quinn) killing enemies of Uncle Sam, so she wishes he was more like his Congressman brother Eddie (Michael Chernus). But the piping job isn't just a front, he really does have to do it. But while John's a great CIA funded killer, he's a terrible nine to fiver. Part office drama about an employee way over his head, part quirky comedy about a singing CIA killer, and part family comedy about a wife who doesn't realize what a badass her dull dude actually is, Patriot was certainly unique even if it never found the audience it should have. Chris Conrad plays the title character who is forced to strip in front of another guy to prove he is not wearing a wire. He pulls off his shirt and shows off his very fit, abtastic upper body while the other guy looks on. Chris doesn't leave us hanging (but he does do some hanging himself) when he goes epically full frontal and backal in the tenth episode of the first season! He might be a trash piping company employee, but we bet he's incredible at laying the pipe! Yannis Bougeard, Luc Schwarz, and Samir Harrag's hogs are played for laughs when they all whip out their petite prosthetic peckers at the urinal. Sure, those are some small dicks but we're sure they'd do the trick! If you like your fellas a bit husky, take a look at the meaty chest and belly of Chris Conrad or Azhar Usman. Those plus size fellas would be great to fornicate with, if you've ever gotten a woody from a Patriot O-lineman! It might not have lasted all that long, but Patriot deserves a pat on the back for showing all that schlong!