Just a Dab will do you! And, of course, Mr. Man is referring to the delightful Dabney Coleman, a staple on movie screens throughout the ‘80s. Although he’s frequently played the smarmy asshole dick in many a fine flick, he’s actually never shown his actual dick in front of the camera. And that’s saying something, considering he has almost 200 credits on his acting resume, including 60 feature films and well over 600 episodes of television. Where do you know him from? You’ve caught him in big blockbusters playing Bill Ray in On Golden Pond (1981) with Katharine Hepburn and two Fondas; Ron in Tootsie (1982) with Dustin Hoffman; McKittrick in WarGames (1983) with Matthew Broderick; as mean boss Franklin Hart, Jr. in Nine to Five (1980) with Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Dolly Parton; as both Martin Price and Murray Plotsky in The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984) with Kermit the Frog (who does go naked in the film); in the role of Cooper in The Man with One Red Shoe (1985) with Tom Hanks; and as Nelson Fox in You've Got Mail (1998) with Hanx again. On the television screen, he won a Primetime Emmy for his part as Martin Costigan in the TV movie Sworn to Silence(1987), and a Golden Globe for playing Slap himself in the series The Slap Maxwell Story from 1987-1988. He picked up a SAG award with fellow castmates for his role as Commodore Louis Kaestner on the series Boardwalk Empire from 2010-2011, and has popped up on Law & Order, NCIS, Ray Donovan, and Yellowstone—among so, so, many others. Now. For the naked bits. You can catch a lean and bubble-butted Dabney in a cheeky scene in the movie Modern Problems (1981). His Texas-born tush is tan-outlined and tantalizing with a mere towel drop. It’s more than a dab, and it’ll do us.
