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Riverdale Moments We Thought Were Porn

The CW series Riverdale pushed the boundaries of teen programming, and likely influenced a number of other controversial shows of the last decade, including Euphoria. While Riverdale nudity isn't a thing thanks to its home on network television, this crazy show gives us everything but. From the first time the world saw eighteen year old K.J. Apa's abs on the set of Riverdale in 2015 to the newer season's unhinged sexual moments, Riverdale has never displayed an iota of chill, and we love it for that. Chaotic energy for the win. In this playlist, we're rounding up the hottest Riverdale moments!

In the very first episode, Casey Cott's gay character Kevin sets the tone for the entire series when he spots K.J. Apa (Archie) changing in his window and declares to Betty "Archie got hot!" Before driving the point home by telling Betty "He's got abs now! Six more reasons for you to take that ginger bull by the horns tonight!"

In one of the show's most unabashedly pornographic scenes, K.J. Apa, Charles Melton, Eli Goree, and co all go shirtless at a charity car wash. The ample white suds and slow motion pec flexing really drive the point home. We get it! This is porn.

The show's wrestling scenes are another highlight. Archie has his hand in everything at Riverdale High School, including wrestling. He and the rest of the boys all fill the hell out of royal blue wrestling singlets... singlets that leave little to the imagination. You don't need to look closely to see K.J. Apa's penis bulging in his singlet. The fact that he hits the mat with his daddy, I mean coach, is just icing on the cake.

Plus what would Riverdale be without Casey Cott's awesome gay scenes, K.J. Apa dressed as a porn star dressed as a firefighter, shirtless locker room hijinks, and a season seven fantasy sequence in which Betty hops on Apa's lapa as he is spread eagle in a chair in white underwear. We don't even like to think about it. High school be like!

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Seriously Hot Firefighters! 14 Minutes (20 Scenes)
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Hot Dudes Skinny Dipping 25 Minutes (25 Scenes)
Sex in Cars 17 Minutes (21 Scenes)
Prison Baes 23 Minutes (25 Scenes)
Naked Men & Knives 40 Minutes (23 Scenes)
Bandanas, Headbands & Hotties 25 Minutes (19 Scenes)
Hanging Out Like Curtains 30 Minutes (29 Scenes)
Scalding Baldies 29 Minutes (26 Scenes)
By All Means, Take Off Them Jeans! 24 Minutes (25 Scenes)
Nude Dudes in Locker Rooms! 20 Minutes (24 Scenes)
Nude Dudes in Dog Tags 20 Minutes (18 Scenes)
Yards, Gardens, & Guys! 37 Minutes (31 Scenes)
Men Jerking Off With Laptops 17 Minutes (22 Scenes)
Knock Knock, Nudes There! 24 Minutes (21 Scenes)
Shake Your Rump - Naked Dancing 34 Minutes (25 Scenes)
Desert Heat brings Man Meat! 28 Minutes (23 Scenes)
Captivating Cave Dwelling Dudes 16 Minutes (19 Scenes)
Headphone Hotties 16 Minutes (20 Scenes)
The Sexiest Fellas & Waterfalls 21 Minutes (20 Scenes)
Gentlemen Jumping In Bed 14 Minutes (18 Scenes)
Wedding Streakers 9 Minutes (13 Scenes)
Crowd Cheering Nudity! 26 Minutes (22 Scenes)
Receive Him: Hot Priests! 15 Minutes (17 Scenes)
Best Mutual Masturbation Scenes 19 Minutes (15 Scenes)
Bunk Bed Buddies 16 Minutes (15 Scenes)
Hot Studs in Hot Clubs! 17 Minutes (19 Scenes)
Pane In My Glass: Men Behind Glass! 15 Minutes (20 Scenes)