Our Staff Picks column is a new addition that takes you back to a time when video stores reigned supreme and the "Staff Picks" section was the place to find out what films were worthy of one's time. Of course, our version has a decidedly nude angle, as we suss out which films from a certain genre with great nudity. This week: Sword and Sorcery!
If you've never heard of Sword and Sorcery, don't worry. It's a subgenre of fantasy that was especially popular in the 80s, but there are still Sword and Sorcery films made today. These fantasy films follow heroes on violent missions. Their somewhat gritty adventures are helmed by their sword-wielding skills. These movies also have magic, romance, and supernatural creatures. These epic films have a shocking amount of nudity for guys. Seriiusly, there is something a little homoerotic about some of these films. These oiled-up men with big swords sure are feeling their fantasy.
You can feel the fantasy, too, by enjoying our Staff Picks for some of our favorite Sword and Sorcery films with heroic amounts of nudity.
Conan the Barbarian
This film is an absolute classic! Sword and Sorcery films have rough-and-tumble heroes. In fact, you could say that it is a requisite for the hero to be a brute or a barbarian. Enter Conan the Barbarian, the titular barbarian. He is, of course, played by bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger.
The plot starts with Conan who is sold into slavery after his village his conquered and his people are killed. When he grows up, he becomes a gladiator who fights for his freedom. He also gets revenge on the sorcerer who killed his people! Yes, a sorcerer. He bewitches us with his buns. What a barbaric booty!
Dragonslayer
The 1981 film Dragonslayer is an absolute classic in the fantasy genre. The film was even nominated for an Oscar for its special effects and it remains a favorite among fantasy afficionados such as George R.R. Martin and Guillermo Del Toro. That's quite a compliment! So what's the deal with Dragonslayer?
Peter MacNicol plays a wizard's apprentice who must slay a dragon eating a kingdom's virgins. Well, he better rectify that problem by defiling the virgins, right? Well, no. He's too noble to do that, but he is not too noble to try and save the day. He saves the day, but he goes for a little nude swim first. Can you blame him? His booty looks great in the water.
Flesh + Blood
Finally, Paul Verhoeven tried his hands at a Sword and Sorcery movie. So you know what that means: it is rated X! Set in a medieval village in Northern Italy, Hawkwood played by Jack Thompson is a mercenary leader who was betrayed by his king. He is now on a brutal quest for revenge and that quest is filled with blood, sex, and more of each of those two things.
A lucky woman watched Simón Andreu bang with his buns out and Bruno Kirby shows his cock. How's that for Flesh?
