The Promised Land (2023)

Who knew that obscure Danish history could be so hot? The Promised Land stars Mads Mikkelsen as historical hero Ludvig Kahlen - an 18th-century veteran who transformed thousands of square miles of harsh land into a settlement. However, the real estate was under the purview of a fancy pants nobleman named Frederik De Schinkel (Simon Bennebjerg) who made it his life's mission to avenge the loss of his land. Magnus Krepper's got some awesome real estate out back! He exits a tent pantsless, and thanks to the magic of Man Vision we can extend this brief butt shot into a true Skinematic moment. We've become accustomed to seeing Mads Mikkelsen nude, but sadly all he does in The Promised Land is tease his ageless bod during a straight sex scene. Come on Mads, we want to see The Promised Gland!