When people say “tall, dark, and handsome,” it’s guys like Johnathon Schaech that they have in mind. Johnathon’s first big movie role came in Franco Zeffirelli's 1993 period piece Storia di una Capinera, but another actor overdubbed all of his dialogue because he was unable to master a Sicilian accent. No big deal, because we don’t care too much about his voice anyway. Undaunted, Johnathon went on to make his nude debut in the controversial road movie The Doom Generation (1995). As a punk drifter, Johnathon gets picked up by young couple (Rose McGowan, James Duval) and ends up sexually involved with both of them as the trio travels around committing crimes. The real crime is that we weren’t part of that ménage a trois! But we get to see the hunky actor’s butt as he jerks off to his friends fornicating, which leads to a load-eating moment for him. Gotta love a dude that’s willing take a protein-packed dose. Johnathon’s bubble butt reappeared in the films Poison Ivy II (1996), Invasion of Privacy (1996), and Welcome to Woop Woop (1997). With three ass-baring roles, we really took Johnny for granted—we thought he would get nude in all his films. But the moments of skin dried up until the babe showed off his thong-clad body in Houdini (1998), along with hints of flesh in Caracara (1999) and Splendor (1999), where he lost his shirt and locked lips with Matt Keeslar. He's ass-tastic in 8MM 2 (2005) when he bends over naked after letting a gal go for a ride on his dingus. Look closely and see his sack! The nudie drought has hit again. It’s been fifteen years since Johnathon graced us with his undressed manliness. It’s gotta rain rump sometime soon!