Dan Patrick Sexy

Sportscaster and radio personality Dan Patrick has been a pillar of all things sports for nearly four decades. With his unique catch phrases, thinking man's humor, and smooth voice, the Ohio native has won the hearts of die-hard sports fans everywhere. A former college basketball player, Dan worked his way up from doing rock and roll radio, to being a sports reporter for CNN, all the way to anchoring Sportscenter. A true cable TV icon, Dan brought us the highlights from 1989 to 2017, becoming a mainstream celebrity and inspiring a main character on Aaron Sorkin's critically acclaimed TV drama Sports Night along the way. These days Dan's abandoned the mothership to host a radio show and a podcast, but when he’s not talking about the flaws of the nickel defense or spouting esoteric hockey stats, Dan has been making cameo appearances in hit Hollywood comedies. Ever since playing himself in The Waterboy (1998), Dan loves to pop up in Adam Sandler movies, which explains why he has portrayed a police officer in both The Longest Yard (2005), and I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007), Norby the Ride Guy in Grown Ups (2010), himself in Jack and Jill (2011), and Randall Morgan in That's My Boy (2012). Boy did Mr. Man got excited when the handsome radio host donned a pair of way too-tight athletic shorts in Grown Ups 2 (2013). Despite having played a totally unrelated role in the first film, Dan was a gym teacher whose buns we get a great look at while he's climbing a rope. Those little shorts are giving a serious wedgie, and we're liking the view. Mr, Patrick, we' think you've got a fat dick! In the same movie, Dan shows up to a costume party as Larry Bird, and we see him put some young whippersnapper in some kind of leg scissor submission, that has the kid's face meeting bulge. That one gave us a serious Cel-tickle in our pickle! Put us in the same hold, and we'd have a lick at the dick of the hick from French lick! Dan's done some stuff that isn't Happy Madison, but his resume is chock full of Sandler stuff. Recently he's been in Pixels (2015), The Ridiculous 6 (2015), The Do-Over (2016), Hubie Halloween (2020), and Hustle (2022). As fun as it is to see him popping up in cameos, we wish more had him nearly popping out of some tight shorts. To steal a catchphrase from the man himself, Dan Patrick, your body is en fuego!