Sex Files: Sexual Matrix (2000)

When people talk about ‘soft-core Cinemax flicks’, Sexual Matrix is precisely the sort of dreck they’re thinking of. Worthy of note to intrepid 12-year-olds with a keen affinity for the cable clicker, Sexual Matrix comprises 6 or 7 mildly serviceable sex scenes punctuated by a truly inane plot framework involving chintzy computer terminals and unconvincing scientists. Johnny Quaid and John Smith both show their arousing arses on multiple occasions. The John’s get us ready to delve deep into the Matrix… and our pants!