The Revenant (2016)

We all knew Leonardo di Caprio was destined to win an Oscar eventually, but we had no idea it would be for a film so steeped in physical pain (and relatively few words) as The Revenant (2015). Loosely based on a true story, in this gritty adventure drama, Leo plays fur trapper and frontiersman Hugh Glass. Hugh's guiding some fur trappers through hostile Native American territory alongside his son Hawk (Forrest Goodluck) when he gets attacked by a grizzly bear. The bear messes him up pretty badly, so John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy) decides he needs to be mercy killed so he doesn't slow them down. Hawk doesn't like that idea, so Fitzgerald kills him while a helpless Hugh watches on. But somehow, Hugh survives. Left for dead in the bone-rattling cold of winter, he has to find his way home all while surviving attacks forged by the Native Americans. What's motivating him? He's going to kill John Fitzgerald if it's the last thing he does! Leo took home the "Best Actor" Oscar for this one, in large part because he was rather open about his method acting techniques that involved eating raw bison liver and nearly dying from hypothermia on a daily basis. But what Mr. Man thinks won him the award was the look at the tight ass of Hugh Glass! Leo is soaking wet and cold when he comes across a dead horse. He strips down, slices the belly open, crawls in, and tries to get some sleep inside of the carcass. It's kind of gross, but we do get to see his ass when he's taking his clothes off! There's a mountain man we want to mount! Meanwhile, Cole Vandale dies from a Native American attack, but not before we see his cock and sack! He's naked and stumbling down the hill but getting to see his long dong was still a thrill! There's not even any shrinkage! Talk about getting your engine revved up! Mr. Man would like to thank The Academy for getting Leo to show his rump in The Revenant!