Citizen Vigilante (2026)

Notorious director Uwe Boll is responsible for what are widely considered some of the worst movies ever made, including 2003's House of the Dead and 2005's BloodRayne. Uwe assumed the distinction of being the worst filmmaker alive as a badge of honor, forging ahead with a career defined by controversy, but mostly by apathy, culminating in his grand 2026 return, Citizen Vigilante, starring disgraced leading man Armie Hammer. Which is where our story begins! Hammer was relegated to selling timeshares in the Cayman Islands following his swift 2021 cancellation, but he found a friend in Boll, who enlists Hammer as the lead in Citizen Vigilante, where he portrays an American vigilante who takes on a corrupt criminal justice system in Europe by picking off violent criminals one by one. His takedowns are broadcast online, turning him into a public hero. It's a role that Hammer can really sink his teeth into, and he even teases his muscular and fuzzy bod while at a brothel! We're more likely to welcome Hammer back with open arms if he were to film, oh I don't know, penetrative gay sex, so for now, let's just think of this new shirtless role as an appetizer. Just like Armie when he texts his girlfriends, we're hungry for more.