Absolutely Anything (2015)

You’ll experience a funny boner while watching the British comedy Absolutely Anything (2015), not to be confused with the British comedy Absolutely Fabulous (1992-2012). Under the direction of Monty Python alum Terry Jones (who co-wrote the screenplay with English novelist Gavin Scott), this R-rated flick was inspired by the short story “The Man Who Could Work Miracles” (1898) by H. G. Wells. Yet in this cinematic adaptation, the action centers around aliens. Once they experiment on human beings, these Earthlings have the power to do, well, absolutely anything. As such, timid teacher Neil Clarke (Simon Pegg) is able to go after the object of his desire: Catherine West (Kate Beckinsale). After being probed by space creatures, a shirtless Neil wakes up in his underwear. He then stares at his topless self in the mirror and wishes for a bigger dick. Since he can obtain absolutely anything, he gets one. Alas, it turns out to be too large, so he has to wish it down to a normal size. No wonder they say, “Be careful what you wish for because you might get it.” Apparently, Mr. Jones must not have wished for good reviews since this pic was a critical miss. Nevertheless, it includes an all-star cast. Python members (Eric Idle, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Terry Gilliam, and Jones himself) lend their vocal talents to many of the characters. The movie also includes Brian Cox, Emma Pierson, and coincidentally Joanna Lumley from Absolutely Fabulous. Speaking of, Mr. Pegg’s ass crack is just that!