Once Upon a Time in Venice (2017)

Who doesn’t love a cinematic story — especially when it begins with the words “Once upon a time.” Certainly, we can’t resist Henry Fonda in Once Upon a Time in the West (1968), James Coburn in Once Upon a Time ... the Revolution (1971), Robert DeNiro in Once Upon a Time in America (1984), Leonardo DiCaprio in Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood (2019), and Bruce Willis in Once Upon a Time in Venice (2017). Not to be confused with Death in in Venice (1971), the latter film follows LA-based detective Steve Ford (Willis). Like the Keanu Reeves character in John Wick (2014), Steve goes on a rampage of revenge when a notorious gang steals his dog. To ensure the safety of his kidnapped canine, Ford must become the bitch of drug lord Spyder (Jason Momoa) and do what he says. This puts Steve in direct conflict with two angry Samoan brothers, a band of loan sharks, and his very own police department despite getting help from his best bud (John Goodman), his sis-in-law (Famke Janssen) and his assistant (Thomas Middleditch). Will Ford eventually reunite with his pup? We won’t ruin the climax, but we can say you’re bound to get a bone when you see the bare back and ass on Bruce’s body double. At least, the leading man does reveal his real chest. Had he shown more, the pic might have done better with critics who dissed it and moviegoers who missed it. As it stands, we’re left holding our Willis.