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Tiptoes (2003)

No Nudity

Top Scene


Sometimes a movie comes along that just puts together such a powerhouse cast, that you almost need to pay attention to it and say out loud to yourself, "how did all these great actors come together and make something so unapologetically bizarre???"  Tiptoes (2003) is that brilliant movie and this movie has everything you'd ever want to see in an indie movie centered around little people starring 3 Academy Award winners and a gun toting Peter Dinklage as a French Communist that rides tricycle motorcycles and drinks cough syrup & cognac cocktails.  We follow brothers Steven (Matthew McConaughey) and Rolf (Gary Oldman on his knees), Steven being of normal size and Rolf being a little person, both coming from little people parents.  So the normal sized McConaughey is every bit of "alright, alright, alright" with his super hot girlfriend Carol (Kate Beckinsale), who he has been keeping the secret of his family's dwarfism from her for fear that she might not be cool with it?  Enter Academy Award winner Gary Oldman and Golden Globe winner Peter Dinklage, ripping down the freeway on trike motorcycles on their way to a little person convention and who do they pick up along the way???  Another Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette, who plays a new age hippie girl, hitchhiking her way across America and falls for the charming Dinklage.  Cut back to McConaughey, when Steven finds out Carol is pregnant, he needs to confront his fear of the hereditary dwarfism that his unborn child could very well end up having, while also facing fatherhood for the first time with his girlfriend who doesn't know much about his personal life at all!  When Rolf shows up on their doorstep, Carol simply cannot believe that he is her man's twin brother!  So the tiny cat is out of the bag, so to speak, and she then confronts Steven about why he hasn't told her about his family of little people.  They welcome her with open arms when introduced, but their personal problems could very well be too large to overcome when the baby comes along and Rolf proves to be the better father figure and Carol begins to develop feelings for him and his paternal instincts...  Love triangles, little people, McConaughey tighty whitie bulge, Gary Oldman on his knees for the entire 90 minutes, Patricia Arquette with cornrows and a hyper short mini skirt getting progressively drunker with a constantly shirtless Dinklage, who is quick to pull out his revolver on anyone.  All the while, there is an endless cameo flow of every recognizable little person in Hollywood, including Twin Peaks alum Michael J. Anderson as their dad, Bridget Powers aka Bridget the Midget as Rolf's ex-girlfriend, and a David Allan Grier cameo?  What the hell is going on???  Give this movie 10 out of 10 stars because you are going to spin off the planet when you watch this and will probably be in space anyway!