Crossbones (2014)

Set in 1729 in and around the island of New Providence in the Bahamas, the television series Crossbones follows Edward “Blackbeard” Teach (John Malkovich), the legendary pirate captain, who reigns over a wild nation of outlaws, thieves and lowlifes. Not only is Blackbeard an evil ruler, it also seems he’s also an inventor. The fearsome pirate has developed a longitude chronometer, an invention that will surely change the world. So Tom Lowe (Richard Coyle), an English spy working undercover as a surgeon, gets close to Blackbeard to get his hands on the chronometer and assassinate him. But when Lowe is taken prisoner, his grandiose plans are foiled, leaving the imprisoned spy to fight for his life while trying not to lose sight of his mission. Since this is primetime television, there’s not much flesh. John Malkovich flaunts his manly physique while enjoying the loving hands of his harem. Crossbones? We prefer Malkovich’s bone!