CSI: Cyber (2015)

CSI: Cyber is yet another police procedural drama infecting primetime television. This spin-off of the CSI franchise gives us Avery Ryan (Patricia Arquette), a Ph.D cyber-psychologist and victim of a cyber crime: her confidential patient files were hacked, inexplicably leading to the death of one of her patients. Charged with a mission, Ryan now uses her psychological superpowers as head of the Cyber Crime Division at Quantico. That title probably looks fantastic on a business card. Armed with a team of computer nerds, Ryan and her hack-tastic co-workers try to solve Internet-related murders, sex offenses, blackmail, and illegally downloads of Ariana Grande’s albums. Sleep well, America.

It’s primetime so don’t go expecting any cock and balls. Instead, season one, episode two gives us a look at Shad Moss’ abs as he attends to his car alarm. Ho-hum.