Wild Wild West (1999)

At the turn of the millennium, Wild Wild West (1999) was the summer smash that critics wanted to smash across a rock. Based on the hit TV series The Wild Wild West (1965-1969), this steampunk Western stars Will Smith as a James Bond-like cowboy called Captain James T. “Jim” West. It’s 1869 and President Ulysses S. Grant (Kevin Kline) is large and in charge. West and his sidekick Artemus Gordon (also played by Kline) are Grant’s go-to guys in the hunt for the mad genius Dr. Arliss Loveless (Kenneth Branagh). Using goofball gadgets and whackadoodle inventions like nitroglycerine-powered penny-farthing bicycles and giant mechanical spiders, the guys battle each other throughout this comic adventure. All of the actors are stunning hunks of man meat, but only Mr. Smith steps up and drops his pants “Big Willy” style. The dashing and debonair West has just gone bobbing for bush with a Black beauty named Belle (Garcelle Beauvais). While in a water tower, Smith’s strong shoulders and bare back seem like a skinsational life raft for his woman to cling onto. After the pair finish their floating fun, the tower collapses and Will rises from the wreckage to reveal his finely chiseled buns! If that’s not arousing enough, observant viewers can catch a quick peek at his balls too. Despite such a vision, the panned flick was named Worst Picture at both the Stinkers Bad Movie Awards and the Golden Raspberry Awards. Of course, this is outrageous since the movie deserves a Golden Banana instead!