Almost Married (2014)

Before we get to the skinny on British comedy Almost Married (2014), we have a brief poem for leading man Philip McGinley: "Sex me so good I say blah blah blah. Work it, I need a glass of wata. Boy oh boy its good to know ya." School’s a blur, but we think that’s John Keats.

Anyway, Almost Married follows the soon to be wed Brit hottie Kyle (Philip McGinley) as he goes to great lengths to avoid having sex with his fiancé Lydia (Emily Atack) after contracting a sexually transmitted disease while on a stag do (for you Americas that’s bachelor party). Does Almost Married end with a happily ever after? No spoilers here, but we do want to cover something very important. See, Philip plays paintball in the nude. We see his beautiful British peen slap against his thighs as he runs in slow motion through the woods, his friends shooting balls against his rock hard bod and gorgeous bare bottom. The ample peen screen time in Almost Married is rare for a comedy, and all we can hope is that Philip McGinley and his Mcjunk continue their winning streak in his future flicks!