Amistad (1997)

In between making the war flicks Schindler’s List (1993) and Saving Private Ryan (1998), Steven Spielberg whipped out his … historical epic Amistad (1997). Based in part on “Mutiny on the Amistad: The Saga of a Slave Revolt and Its Impact on American Abolition, Law, and Diplomacy” (1987), this pic tells the true story of the 1839 African slave rising aboard the titular ship and the ensuing legal battle for freedom for Cinquè (Djimon Hounsou) and his fellow fighters. They are aided by abolitionist Lewis Tappan (Stellan Skarsgård), interpreter Ensign James Covey (Chiwetel Ejiofor), and lawyer Roger Sherman Baldwin (Matthew McConaughey) who didn’t think their treatment was alright, alright, alright. In fact, the film features a who’s who of historical figures from Presidents Martin Van Buren (Nigel Hawthorne) and John Quincy Adams (Anthony Hopkins) to Queen Isabella II of Spain (Anna Paquin). The movie also includes Jeremy Northam, Morgan Freeman, Peter Firth, Pedro Armendáriz Jr., and Mr. Hounsou’s fine flesh! Of course, slavery is overwhelmingly sad, but there’s no grief in seeing Djimon’s chiseled abs, bare ass, balls and shaft! No wonder he won an NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Actor in a Motion Picture. As Cinquè, the skintastic stud touts his sizable sail. Indeed, there are numerous shots of slaves showing their mutinous members and rear admirals. Luckily for us, no one puts their anchors away. Although Amistad is far from a cruise ship, its well-built passengers will keep your boat afloat. In other words, the de-costumed drama is a masturbate-piece!