Bullet to the Head (2012)

Q: Why did Sylvester Stallone and Jason Momoa take a Bullet to the Head (2012)? A: Because their necks were too thick! Seriously though, this high-octane action flick combining two of the biggest action stars of their respective generations comes courtesy of The Warriors (1979) director Walter Hill and is based on a famous French graphic novel. Stallone stars as Jimmy Bobo, a legendary hitman that finds himself being hunted by a young up and coming assassin named Keegan (Jason Momoa). But this isn't an updated take on Sly's hit dueling hitmen flick, Assassins (1995). Instead, Bobo teams up with Detective Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang), who has been sent to investigate the death of a corrupt cop that Bobo took out. See, the crooked cops who were working with the dead one really don't want their secrets spilled, and Bobo's the only one who can stop them from killing Kwon. It ends up the cop was helping a businessman named Robert Morel (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) and his lawyer Marcus Baptiste (Christian Slater) to randomly throw people from a certain neighborhood in jail so they could kick out the locals, knock down their houses and replace them with fancy condos. Sly's willing to help Kwon uncover the whole thing and keep from getting killed, as long as he helps with the sadistic mercenary on his tail. If you're a homoa for Mamoa like Mr. Man, we regret having to inform you that Jason doesn't show any skin in this one. But don't put that gun in your mouth just yet! Even though Bullet to the Head has an empty chamber when it comes to nudity, we do get to see an underwear-clad Sylvester Stallone fighting Brian Van Holt in a bathhouse. Sly's somehow more muscular than he was in his Rocky (1976) days, looking as vascular as our favorite vestibule filler, while Brian is a bit of a leaner, more pure athlete type of dude. Neither go nude but seeing them battling it out in their boxer briefs is semi hot-omatic! Those bodies are head turners for sure! With those testosterone fueled underwear fisticuffs, Bullet to the Head will have you shooting your love gun in bed!