I Am Soldier (2014)

English eyeful Tom Hughes puts the thrills into the British thriller I Am Soldier (2014), not to be confused with the Canadian flick Ice Soldiers (2013). Under the pen and direction of Ronnie Thompson, this intense drama follows Mickey Tomlinson (Hughes), a military chef who decides that he wants to join the Special Air Service (SAS). As such, the sassy stud must don a vintage World War II uniform as he asserts his physical and mental skills. While undergoing the Escape and Evasion and Tactical Questioning exercise, Mickey is placed into the woods without rations. As you can guess, he’s pushed to the breaking point. But if the handsome hunk can hold it together long enough, he might just make it into this elite fighting force! Along the way, we encounter JJ (George Russo), Carter (Noel Clarke), Chris (Josh Myers), and Dawn (Alex Reid). Even though this film failed to receive an extensive theatrical release, you’ll feel like releasing some tension when you see Mr. Hughes in the nude. In one scene, Tom’s character is forcefully stripped in front of Stella (Miranda Raison). He shows off a slight bulge before his shorts are removed to showcase the skintastic actor’s bare back and buns. But Ms. Raison has a better view since she can assess his front. Too bad the cruel lady humiliates him by comparing his off screen peen to a little mushroom. Maybe she means Tom is a fun guy. Regardless, I Am Soldier has Mr. Man saying, “I am horny!”