Private Resort (1985)

Before Golden Globe winner Johnny Depp scored Oscar nominations for his critically-acclaimed performances in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003), Finding Neverland (2005) and Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2008), he was playing a teenage horn-dog in the racy romp Private Resort (1985). As Jack Marshall, Depp and his pal Ben (Rob Morrow) are trolling for trollops while working at a Miami hot spot. The R-rated pic gets some good yuks from Andrew Dice Clay, but the real attraction is the fact that both Johnny and Rob are naked. Yes, naked! The formulaic plot may be familiar for a teen sex comedy, but the chance to see some “before they were stars butt” gives this flick its twist. For starters, Mr. Depp doffs his duds just 11 minutes into the movie. Check out his smooth chest, white boxers, and pre-pirate booty! Needless to say, Johnny’s bare backside is worth a trip to 69 Jump Street! If that’s not hot enough, Mr. Morrow gives us some Southern exposure when he sheds his threads for a religious fanatic (Hilary Shepard). As she prays to an idol, topless Rob can feel his spirit rising! And we can too when we see his heavenly heinie. Amen to that! But when the nude dude closes his eyes and walks to his prize, he runs into Mrs. Amanda Rawlings (Dody Goodman) instead. The old woman does what anyone would do, she resorts to spanking Rob’s bare buns. What a resort!