The Newton Boys (1998)

Richard Linklater’s The Newton Boys (1998) tells the true story of the Newton Gang, a family of wildly prolific bank robbers from Ulvalde, Texas. The titular group is comprised of four Newton brothers—Willis (Uvalde's own Matthew McConaughey), Jess (Ethan Hawke), Joe (Skeet Ulrich), Dock (Vincent D’Onofrio)—and one outsider, Brentwood Glasscock (Dwight Yoakam). What a name! Together, the five felonious-minded fellows tear off on a wild crime spree that spreads across the United States and into Canada, heisting bank vaults at night in order to avoid hurting or killing anyone. You see, these thieves have a conscience. They strictly adhere to a simple code: no killing, no stealing from chicks and kids, and no snitching. Looting nearly two hundred banks during their spree that terrorized banks from Texas to Toronto, the prolific crooks seemed unstoppable, until they crossed paths with Texas Ranger Frank Hamer (Ken Farmer). With Frank hot on their trail and banks adapting to their preferred tactics, the Newton guys get desperate, start abandoning their own rules, and end up in all sorts of trouble. Stick around until the end of the flick to see a nearly eighty-year-old Joe Newton being interviewed by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. But the real show comes from Skeet Ulrich! Stealing is a tiresome activity, so the boys take time from their criminal ways to enjoy a dip in a lake, which gives us a quick look at Skeet Ulrich’s butt and privates as he does an enthusiastic flip in the water. Add that one to your spank bank! Looks like Skeet has a big Newton! Skeet, skeet indeed! That scene is sure to have you reaching for your plasticcock while watching The Newton Boys!