Happy Birthday (2016)

Former Aerosmith tee shirt designer turned filmmaker Casey Tebo made sure to script a cameo for his buddy Steven Tyler in the zany horror-comedy Happy Birthday (2016). A full-frontal cameo? Pshh, dream on! Instead, grab your party hat and take a look at this wild tale of a b-day gone bad. Tommy (Riley Litman) and Brady (Matt Bush), (did we mention Tebo is from New England?) are a pair of buddies doing their best to forget that the Brade-man's girlfriend cheated on him. It's Brady's birthday, so Tommy decides he'll take his friend South of the Border and do whatever debauchery Mexico will allow them, so he completely forgets what she did. Instead, they bump into two American girls: Katie (Vanessa Lengies) and Lucia (Britne Oldford), who are looking to party. After going to a cockfight and doing all sorts of drugs, they meet up with the American girls, only to end up bound and gagged when it's revealed the women work for a cartel leader who uses them to kidnap American men and torture them for ransom money. That blows. Blow out the candles and wish that they'd let you go! It felt like Mr. Man's birthday when The Goldbergs hottie Matt Bush showed off his tight bod as he flees for his life in just a pair of whitey tighties, letting us indulge with his bulge! We won't beat around the bush: it's a sensational sausage silhouette. Riley Litman was a birthday treat we couldn't get enough of when he was topless while tied up next to his buddy. Forget the ransom, we just want to get some! But the real star of the show might be Erik Palladino, since he shows off his prosthetic balls while getting blown in the bathroom. We still got fappy, but would've been a whole lot more happy if those dudes stripped down to their birthday suits in Happy Birthday!