Rats: Night of Terror (1984)

A decade or so after a nuclear holocaust, most survivors live in underground cities, while bands of marauders have free reign over the surface. One such above-dwelling cabal is a motorcycle gang led by Kurt (Ottaviano Dell’Acqua), that stumbles into a stronghold of man-eating mutant rodents, turning what was supposed to be an expedition for supplies into Rats: Night of Terror (1983). In this Italian post-apocalyptic creature feature, our gang of survivors are convinced they've hit the jackpot when they stumble across an underground oasis of clean drinking water and fruit trees. Ignoring all the mutilated dead bodies lying around, soon enough they realize the reason nobody else is living there is because of all the killer, mutant rats. And not the fun, karate master kind of mutant rats like Splinter from the Ninja Turtles. These are a roaming pack of straight up killers who munch on dead bodies as well as living ones. Instead of finding food, the bikers become food for the titular vermin, until they fight back with every bit of firepower they've got. However, madness and mistrust set in—not to mention the simple overwhelming grossness of thousands upon thousands of squirming, vicious, sharp-fanged rats—and Rats: Night of Terror explodes into a memorably gory entry in the early-'80s post-apocalypse cycle. Tons of people have mocked this one's absurd twist ending online, which you'll have to see to believe. But what really had Mr. Man feeling unbelievable was when the character Lucifer, played by Jean-Christophe Brétigniere, brightens up the apocalypse with two scenes of schlong-baring fun. After finding the underground hideout, Lucifer and his girlfriend Lilith (Moune Duvivier) decide to go deeper and have some really loud sex. When sexy time is over, Jean-Christophe gets mad about her pillow talk, hops up and lets his hog hang out! Of course, like all the Euro boys that thing is uncut. How exotic: an unsnipped dick! Rats: Night of Terror will have you terrorizing your trouser rodent!