The Big Bang (2011)

Antonio Banderas stars as Ned Cruz, a private detective who has to negotiate an underworld populated by a Russian Boxer, suspicious LAPD detectives, a decrepit billionaire, and his gold digger wife all to find a missing stripper in the action thriller The Big Bang (2010). Ned's been hired by a super-sized Russian boxer (Robert Maillet) to find the woman who has been writing him all sorts of sexy letters while he's been stuck in prison, and why she suddenly stopped. Eventually Ned figures out that it's the nerdy stripper Julie Kestral (Sienna Guillory) but she's not interested in hooking up with the Heavyweight Palooka because she has much more important things to do. Together with her incredibly eccentric billionaire husband Simon (Sam Elliott) and zany scientist Niels (Jimmi Simpson), she's trying to be one of the first people to see The God Particle. But through a frame story, we find out that five people are going to end up dead at movie star Adam Nova's (James Van Der Beek) home, and Ned's the prime suspect. How do these worlds collide like particles in the Higgs Boson? It's a wild trip, that even involves Snoop Dogg! Shame that he never shows his poop chute or skin flute! This noir flick features all sorts of bangable bros, but only one actually gets to bang a babe onscreen. Antonio Banderas shows that fine Bander-ass when he's in bed with a science-loving chick covered in tattoos of protons and electrons. Nothing like learning more about the universe while in the midst of a good screwing verse! Come for the mystery, stay for the science jokes and looks at Antonio's awesome buns! The Big Bang will produce a massive explosion in your pants!