The Captain (2017)

Nazis being massive hypocrites might not surprise you much, but the hypocrisy at the heart of The Captain (2017) is so absurdly overt you'll be flabbergasted to learn that it actually happened. In this World War II film, it's April 1945 and everyone knows the Nazis are pretty much done. Willi Herold (Max Hubacher) is a paratrooper who deserted the military and has been dodging MP's ever since. One day, he comes across a shot-up Mercedes and sees that there's a Nazi Officer uniform in the back. With no better ideas, Willi puts it on and decides to pretend to be a high-ranking Nazi officer for the rest of the war. But rather than hole up somewhere guarding a bridge in the middle of nowhere to keep himself safe, Willi falls in love with the power and prestige people thinking he's an Officer affords him. He forms a little battalion for himself and marches them into battle, he forces a few grunts to be his bodyguards, and he tells anyone who questions what he's doing that he's on a special mission from his dear friend Adolf Hitler. But while this inept deserter doing his best stolen valor work, his next move was truly insane. Willi ends up at a prison camp full of German deserters and starts executing them! Yes, the deserter goes out of his way to slaughter a bunch of deserters just like him. Sure, in the end he'll get his just deserts via the guillotine, but Willi's hypocrisy was truly astounding. As astounding as his body? Well, Mr. Man's not so sure about that one. At one point in the movie, Max whips out his deserter dong when a bunch of Military Police members come cockblocking him before he can put his member in a busty German babe. Not to be Captain Obvious, but that's one beautiful body! Frederick Lau also shows his cock, as well as his Deutschland derriere when he's stripped, beaten and marched through the streets. We appreciate that neither of these men faked that awesome nudity! You'll fap to the cap in The Captain!