Assassin's Creed (2016)

Not quite critically beloved like The Last of Us, but not exactly reviled like Borderlands (2024), in 2016 Ubisoft let director Justin Kurzel bring their incredibly popular video game franchise Assassin's Creed to life on the big screen with a film of the same name. The action-packed adventure follows Callum Lynch (Michael Fassbender), a death row inmate whose execution is faked so that he can work for Abstergo Industries and their secret Knights Templar member CEO Alan Rikkin (Jeremy Irons). It ends up the Abstergo fellas are looking to track down a legendary artifact called the Apple of Eden, which supposedly can control people, and was last seen by Callum's ancestor Aguilar. Somehow, Abstergo invented a machine that can send you back in time to relive an ancestor's memories, which should give them a good idea where the apple ended up. So, back to 1492 Italy Callum goes, where he'll soon find out that Aguilar was a member of a society of assassins who killed people, dodged the law, and ultimately gave the artifact to Christopher Columbus before he sailed the ocean blue. But more importantly, Callum will find out that he might not actually want to give the people who broke him out of prison the device they're after, which means he might have to use the fighting and climbing skills he learns in Italy back home in the present day. The movie features an all-star cast including Marion Cotillard, Michael K. Williams, and Charlotte Rampling, but we're more interested in Fassbender's all-star bod! No, he doesn't show us his schlong like in Shame (2011), which is a shame, but the stud doffs his shirt in multiple scenes, including a sweaty fight sequence. Michael got his body rock hard for this Ubisoft adaptation. Thanks to his work as the fine ass assassin, Assassin's Creed will make you spill your seed!