Cousin Bette (1998)

An oft rejected spinster sets out on a quest for revenge in Cousin Bette (1998). Based on an old Balzac novel, Jessica Lange plays Bette, a poor seamstress in Paris who watched her floundering family throw all their cash at her cousin Adeline (Geraldine Chaplin) so she could marry a rich dude. She did, then lost all that money and died while poor Bette was stuck living alone in her shadow. Bette promised Adeline that she would care for her husband (Hugh Laurie) and daughter (Kelly Macdonald) after she dies, but Adeline's husband never sees Bette as anything more than a lowly housekeeper, so she leaves the comforts of his home for a lousy apartment and the love of a starving sculptor (Aden Young). After the sculptor spurns her for the affections of her niece, Bette enlists a famous courtesan (Elisabeth Shue) to help her with her plot to destroy the people who have wronged her. Hell hath no fury like a spinster scorned! Soon enough, Bette's coming for everyone's money, ruining their lives, and making sure they understand they messed with the wrong middle-aged cat lady! But enough about Balzac's plot, what about the ballsack? Oh Paris, the city of lights and chocolate covered man meat. Aden Young plays a lusty Count trying to make it as an artist who falls under the spell of Jenny the courtesan. After covering each other is chocolate they start melting in each other's mouths as well as their hands and hips. Young is on top and his candy covered curvature is happily humping. The chocolaty couple experience coitus interruptus and if you look hard enough, you get the quickest glimpse of Young’s chocolate dipped candy cane as he stands up. Aden's body is truly sculpted! Good luck finding a better-looking dude than Aden in Cousin Bette!